TV Dinner
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: A one shot of Garcia's plan to help JJ figure out if Emily is into woman.


* **Promise I'm still writing on the Joy, Scars series. Just can't stop these from flowing.**

 **I own nothing of Criminal Minds. I'm just thankful it exists and I get to play with the characters a bit.**

 **TV Dinner**

JJ walked into Pen's liar and plopped down in the extra chair after making sure the door was closed.

"What can the goddess of all knowledge do for you oh wilted buttercup."

"Funny Pen, I'm not wilted but frustrated. I have never had my gaydar let me down. I swear I can't tell what Emily is into. You never can get a name of anyone she might be interested in past those adorable lips."

"Well you said she held your hand when I was in surgery."

"Yeah… but a good friend would have done that."

"Okay… I give you that one..." Pen stopped and thought a moment. "You know come to think of it she never points anyone out at the bars either. She looks when we do and makes general comments. The only exception was that guy pretending to be an F.B.I. agent she brought over for us to annihilate but since then she has been very quiet on the matter."

"See not even you know which way the woman swings."

"Oh yeah of little faith… just because she is quite doesn't mean I can't make her squeak."

"Pen don't go digging, if she finds out we both will be shot."

"You really have it bad for our brooding princess."

"She is beautiful, mysterious, and has the softest hands ever. I have tried everything I know to figure out if she likes girls."

"You know I love you JJ but I'm not getting shot again so you can hold Emily's hand."

JJ rolled her eyes at her flamboyant friend. "I wouldn't want you to martyr yourself on the behalf of my love life." She said rolling her eyes again, "besides I hold her hand at least once a week now anyways."

Garcia looked at her friend with a quizzical expression.

"I have a bottle of lotion that squirts too much out and I make sure she is near to share it."

"That's sad JJ…"

"I know… but they are so soft." JJ said with a far off look.

"Of course they are you keep lacquering them up with lotion." She said waving her hands in the air and laughing.

"What can I say…I'm just a hand stalker?"

"Okay Miss Jergens… you have a case to set up for so leave this baby in my hands. I promise an idea by the time you get back from Chicago."

XXXXX

The team had been sent to help catch an unsub killing college students around DePaul University. They had been chasing leads now for over a week and the team was getting punchy with each other because of the brutal cold temperatures. Thankfully they got a sudden crack in the case when they found out that the unsub's true first victim was alive. From her composite drawing of the man who attacked her, the team knew who he was and caught him in a day's time.

They were all ready to just go home and have some down time but fate wouldn't have it. The plane was grounded for at least two days due to the winds from a blizzard moving across the mid plains. They had gotten the bad news as they were on their way back to the hotel to pack and leave.

Derek decided to stay with his family since they lived in Chicago but the rest of the team was stuck in three rooms. They had to double up because of the weather selling out the hotels in the area to stranded travelers.

Disappointingly JJ and Emily entered their room grateful that the power was on in their hotel because a third of the city was without power due to downed lines. Hotch had asked if they wanted to meet and have dinner with the rest of them down stairs but the women declined saying after very little rest they were going to sleep until the plane ride home if possible.

"I'm heading to a hot shower if you do not mind?" JJ asked hoping it would be okay with Emily.

"Go ahead I'm going to pull my boots off and close my eyes for a while."

JJ crossed over to her bed to pull out her sweats and hoodie that she wore for the down times at the hotel. She looked back at the woman lying face down on her pillow and smiled and headed into the bathroom.

She turned the water on warming it before stepping into the blissful spray and allowed her thoughts to get lost in the beautiful woman asleep in the next room. She only allowed her imagination these stolen moments in the shower when they shared a room, afraid that the profiler in Emily would read her fantasies per chance and she just couldn't let that happen.

As she finished dressing she wondered if Pen had made any head way on a plan to figure out if the woman of her dreams might be into women. She started to brush out her hair when she heard her phone ringing in the other room and darted out to get it before it woke Emily up. But it was too late the woman handed it to her and smiled halfheartedly. She mouthed a "sorry" to her as she answered "Jereau"

"Hey buttercup… enjoying being stranded with your soft handed bombshell"

"Hey Pen…" Emily smiled and took her leave to shower now that her nap had been disturbed. "Not exactly"

"She's right there with you I take it. Bet you are ready to blossom your pretty flower about now because I hear the shower and she's all naked on the other side of that door."

"Pen!"

"Okay… that was mean sorry… but I have good news for my love starved honey bee."

"I'm all ears." She said sitting down on Emily's bed so she could get a whiff of the woman's perfume every now and then.

"Tonight we celebrate your birthday."

"What? My birthday isn't for three more months."

"That's true but I can't get a blizzard scheduled at that time so you two can be stranded in a hotel room together so just work with me please."

Laughing, "What are talking about?"

"I my dear have an answer to your problem and my birthday gift to you is a TV dinner. Just hear me out because I can feel you staring at the phone like I'm crazy."

"Yeah…" JJ said in agreement.

"A TV dinner…is just what the doctor ordered and speaking of... I ordered you two some pizza, wine, and a piece of German chocolate cake which is the dinner part of the plan and the TV part is waiting in your e-mail on your computer."

"Pen you didn't send porn did you?"

"JJ…I'm shocked… okay that is something I would probably do but no it's an episode of Rizzoli and Isles that reminds me of you two."

"Rizzoli and Isles… never heard of it."

"Of course you haven't because you only think of work and Emily."

"You win that one."

"I know I do. Now drink some wine cuddle in one of those beds so you both can watch it together and when Emily complains tell her it's less than an hour long and there is a pop quiz when she gets back here."

"Thank you Pen… I think."

"Hey I'm trying to save you money on lotion and keep Emily from sliding everywhere. The woman can't even hold a pen without it shooting across the room half the time because of you. Pen out." She hung up before JJ could scold her about the last comment.

Emily came out of the bathroom in her sweats and a red undershirt and asked, "What are you two up to," after seeing JJ shaking her head at the phone.

"I'm not up to anything but Pen is a whole other story."

"Okay… what is she up to now."

"She says tonight is my birthday and she is giving me a TV diner as a gift."

"Is it time for Hotch to schedule another drug test for her again?"

"Em"

"Sorry but that's a little strange even for Pen."

"Okay… I admit she is unusual but she means well."

"Yeah… okay what does a TV dinner entail?"

There was a knock on the door interrupting the conversation. Emily was already standing so she went and opened it. The young man rolled a cart in and sat up the table in the room with plates, wine glasses and a small bouquet of flowers. Lastly he put a huge piece of German cake along with the large pizza on it and left.

"I got to say… thank god Pen is strange I'm starving. Let's celebrate your birthday." She said smiling at the wonderful smell of the pepperoni pizza.

JJ smiled and had to agree. They hadn't eaten since early that morning when they had shared a muffin. Emily poured the wine and they ate while having small talk about Pen and her unique ways. The conversation was smooth and up beat so JJ decided to test the water about the second part of the TV dinner.

"Okay we have eaten so that is the dinner part according to Pen."

"So what is the TV part?" Emily asked with a "do I want to know" face.

"She sent a link to a TV show called Rizzoli and Isles. She said it reminded her of us." JJ hoped Pen knew what she was doing.

"Rizz… what?"

"She said you would do that and to tell you it was less than an hour long and there was a pop quiz when we got back to make sure we watched it."

Emily laughed at her friend knowing her so well. "Well let's watch it then…we wouldn't want to incur the wrath of Penelope Garcia. It's just a good thing she picked a good wine."

"Which is almost gone," JJ added with a giggle.

"Well we can't have that it's your birthday." Emily said with a smile as she picked up the phone to call for another bottle. "We are stuck her for a while why not enjoy it."

JJ agreed as she got her computer finding the link and had it ready to go when they were ready. The knock on the door came quickly announcing the arrival of the wine. Emily answered and gave the man cash which he thanked her seeing the generous tip she gave him.

"Okay shall we have cake there or over here?" JJ asked pointing at the table or the bed.

"Over there so we can get the TV part done." She said pointing at the bed. "We may have to study for Pen's quiz and I study better reclined."

JJ giggled.

"Are you tipsy birthday girl?"

"No just feeling good."

Emily cut the overhead lights off leaving the room lighted by the dimmer table lamp. She crawled in beside JJ who was holding her laptop and their wine glasses while Emily had the cake and the new bottle of wine.

She filled the glasses and set the bottle on the night stand. She took the fork and cut a big bite off the cake, "Open wide birthday girl… first bite is yours." JJ did as she was told and moaned at the flavor accosting her mouth.

"Goooo…sooo… zing" " _God so amazing_ ," was the just of what Emily got out of the nonstop moan.

Laughing she put another bite on the fork, "In that case second bite is for the birthday girl too because that was fun hearing."

JJ took the bite but also took the fork from her hand. She got a bite of cake on it as Emily opened her mouth. It was now Emily's time to moan.

"See what I was saying." JJ said as the woman shook her head yes not wanting to lose any of the scrumptious cake.

"My god that's good," was finally said after swallowing the bite.

"You ready for the TV part?" JJ asked smiling enjoying the looseness in Emily's demure. She was hoping this show would loosen the rest of her so she could find out some information.

"Hit me with Pen's best."

"Are you tipsy Em?"

"Nope… just feeling good"

JJ smiled as she heard her words coming back to her while she hit play. They settled in side by side to watch the show. It opened up with two women doing yoga, a strawberry blonde and a brunette. JJ knew that Emily always liked to study new things and was quite when she did, so she remained silent till the end of the show which ended like it began with the two friends doing yoga.

"Guess this is us in Pen's view." JJ said trying to gauge a reaction from Emily.

"Sorry I only get in that position when I have too." Emily said.

JJ caught the giggles. "So you are not into yoga I take it?"

"I meditate but I really do not like twisting my body into a thousand different positions unless it is for gratification."

"Gratification"

Emily looked at her and rolled her eyes. "Sexual"

"Ohhh… then there's that," JJ said as she coughed clearing her throat.

"Got ya," Emily said as she busted out laughing.

"How much wine have you had?" She asked placing the laptop on the night stand.

"Enough"

"Enough for what?"

"To have watched that lame show."

"Em…"

"What… look those two went into the brunette's bedroom with no reason with wine and they were talking about what kind of girls they would be into if they liked girls. Second they had a buff male bouncer. I've only ever seen buff women bouncers at lesbian clubs… but I give them that one for diversity.

Thirdly the blonde gave the brunette an opening to kiss her if she wanted too but no she had to come back with I would be the guy making sure to say she would be the dominate partner. Which most people think a lesbian relationship has to have role playing but if that is the case the brunette didn't have a clue how to be a dominate partner.

Case in point she would have cherished the moment in the squad room when the woman opened up about being in awe of things but no the she was like many scared straight women and said something hurtful.

If you are going to be a partner you lead by giving and receiving. Sometimes you are the one who leads and then there are times you follow in amazement of the others uniqueness and individuality in the areas they are gifted in."

JJ started to defend the show until she noticed Emily had closed her eyes.

"See when you are with a beautiful woman and you know it is okay to cherish her… God…especially the first time, you savior every moment of it…"

JJ realized Emily was talking from a deep place and not about the show any more. She almost hated to breathe thinking it would snap the woman out of her reflections.

"From the connection that starts with a kiss and then with the opening up of the soul through the eyes, you breathe in every scent and absorb every sound. It all becomes the atmosphere that lets your heart beat. Then finally you touch the softness causing shivers that send lightning throughout her body and expands to dance through your own body at the thought of pleasing her.

This drives you listen to see what makes her breathe in hard so you can map that to memory wanting to touch that place again because it made her feel good. You look into her eyes requesting permission of movement not wanting to over step the blessing you've been given. When it's granted you brush over as much of the tenderness before you knowing the energy building within her will need releasing soon but all you want to do is enjoy the whole of the magnificent being with you.

But one never leaves a lady waiting on a cliff so you move to where her heart of pleasure lives getting the first major sign that what you have done to this point is right because the wetness meets your fingers. God… it almost engulfs your world with wonderment knowing this beautiful goddess desires your touch.

You look into her soul again and gauge wither you can take the time to taste the wine or if the connection is at its peak. After seeing what is needed…you take her up to the mountain high which is like no other high on earth.

When she pulls you into her entrapping you in that space of time where she wants you entirely inside her soul and refuses to let you go. Only speechless describes this moment because only love's silence can speak of divine things. Her body knows it's impossible to freeze time yet it still tries to hold you and then limits are past and the space explodes around her. She is like a kite caught in a gust of wind and you hold her until it lands on earth again.

You hold and kiss her and tell her how amazing and beautiful she is making sure her flight was beyond her dreams and that she is taken care of in all dimensions possible." There was a pause then a deep breath as Emily opened her eyes and shook her head trying to sit up thinking "What was in that wine?"

There were moments of silence almost border lining on uncomfortable until Emily broke it by asking, "What would you like for your birthday JJ?"

"An answer."

Looking at her timidly, "To what?"

"Am I the kind of a woman you would date when you date?"

Emily caught JJ lips in a fiery kiss and took the woman in her arms embracing her tightly wanting to feel every breath that filled her lungs. Pulling back a moment trying to regain control over the flurry of hormones running through both of them. She had to check and make sure that this was what they both wanted.

"JJ… I want this but are you sure? We have had a lot of wine."

"I've wanted this since the first day I saw you in Hotch's office."

That was all the confirmation Emily needed as she lifted both of their shirts off. They came together and kissed as the electricity of their bare chest touching for the first time coursed through their bodies. JJ was on fire after Emily's speech. She just needed this woman, "I'm sorry Em… I know you want to take it slow but god I need you now."

Emily understood that the woman was on the edge from all the buildup so she moved to ease the pressure and started the climb up the mountain that probably was already three fourths the way there already. JJ was in ecstasy as the woman moved around and in her because she could hear Emily's previous words surrounding her.

"She's right," she thought "I want to hold her here forever."

Knowing JJ was close she moved up to her ear, "It is okay love… jump off the mountain I'm here to catch you."

"God…Emmmmiiilllyyy"

As JJ's eyes came into focus she heard Emily whisper "Happy birthday love," in between kisses.

XXXXX

(Three Months Later)

Pen walked into the bullpen and saw Emily taking some lotion off of JJ's hands. Smiling the tech goddess walked over to the women and looked at JJ. "Remind me to buy stock in Jergens."

"Shut up Pen." JJ said rolling her eyes at her friend while Emily just looked confused.

"So are we still on for your birthday party tonight buttercup?"

"Of course we are I love celebrating." JJ said smiling.

Later that night when everyone was gathered at a table at their favorite bar Spencer asked, "Are you having a good birthday JJ?"

"I am Spence thank you."

"You have seemed really happy for the past few months." He said posing as a statement/question.

"I'm having a really good run lately."

"I think it's because she knows the gift we guys got her was the best birthday gift ever." Morgan said cheeky.

"I admit a spa day is really nice and very thoughtful thank you but it's not the nicest gift I ever received."

"Okay… Miss Diva what is the best birthday gift you ever received?" He asked all puffy.

"The best birthday gift I ever have ever received…" Everyone was sitting waiting on her answer, "was a TV dinner."

Garcia and Emily looked at each other and smiled knowing exactly what she was saying while the men looked confused as always. Emily took the woman's hand under the table briefly letting her know it was the best for her too.

"A TV dinner… you are weird JJ. So you are saying we could have saved some money and bought you something out of the frozen isle?" Morgan said.

"No… it's not that kind of dinner." She said letting the men know they were barking up the wrong tree of thought.

"I like TV dinners sometimes." Rossi said sensing there was more to this than met the eye.

"Yeah… whatever let's dance baby girl." He said deciding it was a woman thing and he wouldn't ever understand it anyway so why try.

The group broke off into dancing and dart throwing except for Emily and JJ, "So what's the plan for this weekend?"

"I thought we could stay in and celebrate your birthday."

"Would this include wine and German chocolate cake?" JJ asked smiling a hopeful smile.

"You're forgetting something."

"Never… I was saving the best for last… and a TV dinner."

 **Now I love Rizzoli and Isles but I had to write this from a cynical Prentiss point of view. So please no hate mail about the lame show comment. The episode that they were watching was the first season episode six "I Kissed A Girl" where Jane and Maura went undercover at the Merch lesbian bar.**

 **Thank you again for reading.**


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